Women's work

I was sitting here getting ready to write and looked out my front window.  My neighbor was getting into her car with her daughter, leaving at 6:50 am to drop her off at the school childcare program before she heads on to work.  A scene being repeated all over Spring Hill, all over our country this morning.

I am feeling a mix of sadness and guilt.  Sadness cause that little girl could have been in her own bed for another 30 minutes yet before she had to get up to catch the bus.  Sadness cause Moms going off to work all day, mean they're not here in the neighborhood, making it more difficult to get to know each other.  Sad cause I think the mom really would like to be at home, but feels the financial pressure to add another income.

Guilty cause I'm sitting here in my pajamas, with 20 minutes before I have to get my youngest up and an hour and a half before I have to leave the house.  Leaving the house meaning, meeting a friend in Franklin for coffee, before I head to work (the first day in a month) to work for several hours, then come home.  Guilty cause if I knew the family better, was consistently home in the morning ( some mornings I have to actually be to work at 7 am), the daughter could come here in the morning relax, eat breakfast, catch the bus with L.  Guilty cause as much as I am home during the day, I really don't know the other moms who are home in my neighborhood very well.

And I guess I ponder this cause at 50 I'm still trying to figure out my role.  I have been blessed to be an at home mom most of my life.  As much as I loved being with my kids, and even like cleaning and doing house stuff, I felt like something was missing.  Given the opportunity to do some fun work the last 10 or 12 years I've wondered if work is what I missed.  But the cost is so great to my family, to relationships with friends and neighbors.  So I'm rethinking this all.  Talking to friends, reading books, most importantly reading the Word.  I havn't figured it all out by a longshot, but I am seeing that much that is important, that is clearly spoken of in the Word, I don't have time for when I work.

It's pretty clear in Titus 2:  Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.  They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

So what will my daily life look like if this is my priority.  Probably a lot different than it has for a while.  And the reality is, if I'm a good manager of my household, we probably don't need my income.  And the creativity and fellowship I experience at work are easily found right here at home, right here in my church and neighborhood.

So I will pray some more, and maybe even talk about it with my husband : )  And see where this will lead...   But for now I'm going to get L up and off to school and get dressed go to work.

Spring

It has turned into a rainy afternoon.  The green of new life bursting from every tree, every blade of grass looks all the brighter against the backdrop of a gray sky.  It is a quiet rain unlike the downpour that woke up my youngest very early this morning.

I love rainy days.  It's as though it gives me permission to stay in bed a little longer in the morning.  To stay cuddled up in pajamas reading, instead of starting on the long list to be accomplished today.  To slow down my pace a bit, to be quiet.

I know tomorrow when the sun breaks through, the shrubs and trees that drank in todays rain will appear to open up before my very eyes.  Celebrating the sunlight, the warm air, spring.

I am awestruck at the beauty of God's creation.  I wonder at the possibility of a world more beautiful more perfect, as it must have been before the fall.  Perhaps that is the virtue of spring, it gives us hope, it reminds us of redemption, of resurrection.