Sunday, November 16, 2014


 CREATOR, CREATED, CREATE  - Sunday Message at Four Winds Mission

When Father Brad asked me to speak today.  I said yes without hesitation.  He suggested I talk about what I'm  passionate about, beauty and art.  I quickly agreed.  As I prayed and studied I realized that to talk about the importance of beauty and artistic expession I needed to start at the beginning, Our Creator.

I was watching a movie at home last week, Words and Pictures with Clive Owen and Juliette Binoche.  The story follows a writer and painter who teach at a private prep school.  The writer  is convinced of the supremacy and power of words, and the painter tells  her students “don’t trust the words, the words are lies”.   They spend much of the film trying to convince their students and each other that either words or pictures are the preeminent form of communication.  They both assert that when skill-full creativity is infused with truth it has the potential to move hearts, to reach beyond the mind to the soul.

Is that true and if so why is that?

Let’s look to the beginning. The Creator.  His creation.

Genesis 1:1
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

John 1:1-5
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.


From Genesis 1:1 to John 1 God is the creator. And it is through the person of Jesus that creation was made.

Jesus is the word, with God from the beginning, God himself. This is a mystery man has wrestled with through out history. 


"The Jews believed in,YHWH, “the One Who Is,” the Sovereign One, was not simply the objectification of forces and drives within the world, but was the maker of all that exists. 
The theme is summed up in the Jewish daily prayer, the Shema: “YHWH our God, YHWH is one!...
Classic Jewish monotheism, then, believed that
(a) there was one God, who created heaven and earth and who remained in close and dynamic relation with his creation; and that
(b) this God had called Israel to be his special people. ...This God was both other than the world and continually active within it." 

JESUS AND THE IDENTITY OF GOD by NT WRIGHT 

In 1 Corinthians 8:6, Paul adapts the Shema itself, placing Jesus within it:
yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.


When we recite the Nicene Creed we confess:
WE BELIEVE in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.



John 1:9 - 16
9 The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. 12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. 15 John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me." 16 For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

The creator of the Universe, amazingly decided to make man in his image and chose to become like us, flesh and blood.  When the reality of that sinks into our hearts it is like an atomic blast of light, that changes everything.  It changes our identity, our perspective, our hopes and desires, down to our very soul.  And we see Him everywhere. His glory and grace are evident in the beauty of creation.   And we cannot keep silent.  We too, like John, must bear witness to the light.

The beauty of creation inspires awe in all hearts, even in the hearts of those who do not know the creator.  There is a deep silent awakening that moves our heart to worship and long for the creator.

-KENYA

In 2007 Joe and I had the opportunity to go to Kenya with Compassion to meet our sponsor child, Darwin. From the moment we landed in Nairobi I knew we were in a place like no other.  A land full of contrasts.  Where else can you set down a modern jet on runways surrounded by giraffes.

The fingerprints of God seemed even more obvious in this land of stark contrasts.  Breath taking beauty alongside unimaginable poverty and suffering.  But from the plains of the serengeti to the slums of Kibera there was beauty.

After 2 days in Nairobi we flew to Masai Mara in the Rift Valley for safari. What an amazing gift to be able to see elephants, and cheetah, giraffes and lions in their natural habitat.
The morning we left to fly back to Nairobi we drove from the camp to the airfield.  As we crested the ridge to drive into the valley I was flooded with sorrow to have to leave behind such beauty.  In that moment, overwhelmed by the majesty, the glory, the grace, with tears streaming down my face,  I wondered if this emotion was a shadow of how Adam and Eve felt as they were sent from the garden.  To leave such beauty was heartbreaking.

Our hearts cannot help but to respond to God’s creation.  It strips away our distractions, our worries, our idols, and we come face to face with God.

When we arrived back in Nairobi we were taken to Kibera to tour a compassion project there. Kibera is the largest urban slum in Africa, one of the largest in the world. It’s home to anywhere form 300,000 to 1 million residents. Our drivers let us out on railroad tracks high up a hill overlooking the slum below. The filth and extreme poverty were unlike anything I had ever experienced.

But even in the midst of it was the of small faces filled with hopeful eyes, big smiles, greeting us with the only english they knew “How are you?” Men dressed in work clothes, some even in suits returning from work.  Children walking home from school, Mothers buying food for their families at the meager market, neighbors visiting with neighbors.  So many similarities to my daily routine.

I was reminded that all of us long for love and grace and beauty.  We long for Jesus, the one who created us, the one who pursues us, the one who’s very exisitence is clearly seen in His creation, his beauty. And we long to manifest that beauty in our communities, our homes, no matter how primitive or impoverished our shelter, we strive to make it beautiful.  In Kibera that was  a tin can planter  filled with life, shreds of fabric adorning the doorway.

Why do we long for beauty, why do we desire to create? 

           Genesis 1:27
           So God created man in his own image,
             in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Because we are made in God’s image we too are creative. Our response to beauty flows out of our longing for him.  Our desire for the beauty around us, beauty created through us, is to remind us of the grace and glory of God.  It is a retelling of the gospel.  It is a practice of worship.  Worship of our creator, not the creation.

In Exodus Belazel and other craftsman were called together to create a beautiful environment where God would be worshiped. The daily worship of God to be worked out by his people. The tabernacle was ornate in a way that was not practical or pragmatic but in such a way that the beauty reflects God's glory and inspires   man's heart to worship.

"The first 34 chapters of Exodus narrate the defining actions of salvation and revelation.  The final six chapters narrate the preparations for the continuing worship that would assimilate that salvation and revelation into the fabric of their common life week after week, month after month, year after year after year, for another thousand years, at which time Jesus would bring it all to a new beginning.

The story of the Red Sea and Sinai, with Moses playing a leading role, defined the life of God’s people.  Telling retelling that story in a place of worship would keep their identity alive.  With Bezalel playing a leading role, the account of planning, designing and constructing a building for worship  provided a form for rehearsing and practicing their identity in the materials and circumstances of their lives for as long as they lived."
Eugene Peterson in For the Beauty of the Church
  
As Jesus renews and restores us we not only begin to see the world through his perspective.  We see Him in the world, we see him in the rising sun cutting through the morning fog, we see him in the vulnerable fragile gaze of a newborn, we see him in the tedious bumper to bumper commute, we see him as we embrace the last moments of our loved ones life.

To artists God give the ability to see what is not yet there.  Michelangelo is quoted as saying in reference to his magnificent work, David:
In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.’—Michelangelo

EVERY work of art is an act of faith.

Makoto Fujimura  is an artist and founder of - International Arts Movement in NYC.  International Arts Movement is a community of artists and creative catalysts gathered to wrestle with the deep questions of art, faith, and humanity. His beautiful work is unique in that it marries the Japanese tradition of Nihonga painting  with abstract expressionism.

He said in Refractions...
“In other words, the language of the arts translates the universal longing for peace into the tangible experience of the desire for peace.  The arts provide us with language for mediating the broken relational and cultural divides: the arts can model for us how we need to value each person as created in the image of God.”  
He goes on to say;
“Create we must, and respond to this dark hour.  The world needs artists who dedicate themselves to communicate the images of Shalom.  Jesus is the shalom.  Shalom is not just the absence of war, but wholeness, healing and joy of fullness of humanity.  We need to collaborate within our communities, to respond individually to give to the world our Shalom Vision. “

In the beginning creation was good. With the fall, the fullness of creation was lost. Sin brought darkness.  Jesus came in the form of the man bringing light into the darkness and the darkness can't overcome it.  But sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.

We don’t have to go to Africa or India to experience the depths of brokenness in our world.  There is sickness and death, poverty and injustice, all kinds of brokeness around us in our families and neighborhoods.  Although our world is fallen, corrupted by sin, the light of Jesus shines through in the beauty of creation and the beauty of what man creates. It reveals the grace and glory of Jesus

Each of us feels a longing to create. To be the source of a reflection of the beauty of Jesus. To be a conduit of the light that brings the life. So we create. For some of us that means painting a beautiful painting, for others it's composing a beautiful melody. But more often than not our creation takes the more ordinary form of a delicious nutritious meal, a freshly painted wall in our home, or decorating for a holiday.  In each of these the grace of Jesus can be seen. Beauty can cause our defenses to drop down and the Holy Spirit has his way with our hearts.

All of us have creative expression within us. Some of us have been given specific artistic talents for the good works God has created us to do.  But In our culture finding our place as an artist is difficult.   When we are young every drawing we do, every song we sing is praised and encouraged.  But as we get older we are told that our works aren’t good enough, someone else is better, more talented.  That creating art is a waste of time.  Work and practical responsibilities are more important.

We need to encourage one another.  The world wants to diminish our creativity, it tells us that there is nothing special in our works of beauty.

I think I knew by the age of 5 that I was an artist.  A calling encouraged by my godfather, our family priest, with the gift of a handcrafted drawing box.  Much of my childhood was spent with graphite stained fingers. That was up until the moment when I felt like the world told me my gift was not good enough.  Jesus does bring restoration, and can resurrect the dreams of our childhood.  But it is still a struggle.  There are questions that plague the artist.

Am I truly an artist?
What is the purpose of art?
Does art glorify God?
Is creating art a worthwhile use of my time?
Does the world need art?
What am I called to create?
What will other artists think of me and my work?


We desire relationships with other artists so that we can wrestle with these questions together, learn from each other, walk the creative journey together and in the process worship and glorify God. 

These questions and desires birthed:

Creative Communion

Illuminate/Engage/Birth

Illuminate - The glory of God revealed in and through artistic expression.
Engage - With God, our communities, and the mediums we create in.
Birth - Incarnations of beauty, truth and love, the Kingdom on earth.

We need to create together and be patrons of the works of beauty from those around us.
We are most fully alive when we are living out what we are created to be and do.  I was reminded of this recently when I was shooting a short film this summer with my oldest son. 

I was spending a few moments with a friend of his who was there to take still photos.  She and her husband have know Joey for several years.  I told her how much fun I was having working with him. It was a delight to watch him create this film with the amazing group of artists he brought together.  She then commented that “ Joey is so fully alive, smiling, laughing, full of joy”.  This was after several long days of grueling work in 90 degree temperatures, fighting to bring his vision to life, with the most minimal of resources.   His joy was full in that moment because he was living out the creative calling of God.  We all are most fully alive when we are walking in our calling.

Joey couldn’t do it alone.  We can’t do it alone.  Friends gave hours of work as a gift.   People in our body fed us so we could keep working the long days it took to finish the project.  Kevin gave us use of his space and donation of materials so that we could create the set we shot in.  But most importantly, Jesus was with us throughout the process of seeking to tell us story exploring loss and grief and humanity in the face of technology and our own finite nature.  A story that can speak to our contemporary culture.

Tolstoy said “The destiny of art in our time is to transmit from the realm of reason to the realm of feeling the truth.”


"In other words, the language of the arts translates the universal longing for peace into the tangible experience of the desire for peace.  The arts provide us with language for mediating the broken relational and cultural divides: the arts can model for us how we need to value each person as created in the image of God."  Makoto Fujimura - Refractions


On November 29th  we are hosting:
Out of the Darkness, Into the Light
Physical expressions in visual art, film, dance, word and song of the coming of Christ - Advent                                   
A Celebration of Advent Thru the Arts

Through this celebration we offer our community an opportunity to experience a tangible representation of what Advent is and can be. In preparation artists will be inspired to be intentional in their approach to Advent and process it through their medium.
Advent is a fitting time to enter into the fullness of our calling as an artistic community:

"Advent is one of the greatest and most mysterious seasons of the Christian calendar. Advent celebrates the incarnation, the mind-blowing reality of the God of the universe becoming a man: living, breathing, walking on earth as we do. But even as it celebrates Christ's arrival on earth and his rescue of it, Advent also looks patiently to the future return of Christ to bring all wrongs to right, once and for all. Advent accepts the tension of the already and the not yet. It welcomes waiting. It is merriment and melancholy together, beauty so sublime that, like the best art, it simultaneously comforts and rocks us to the core.

It is perhaps not surprising, then, that the mystery and magnitude of Advent lends itself so well to artistic exploration. Like Advent, the arts also accept tension and welcome waiting. The incarnation itself lends dignity to artistic and cultural pursuits. Christ didn't come as a cerebral concept or an ethereal force. He came as a physical man; a man who worked with his hands as a carpenter; a man who enjoyed eating and drinking with friends; a Jewish man who told stories and interacted with the cultural rituals, traditions, tropes and expressions all around him."
— Barry H. Corey, President, Biola University Center for Christianity, Culture and the Arts.

Within our body there is an abundance of creativity.  Gifted musicians and singers, visual artists and writers.  Creativity flows from our youngest, to those of us who aren’t so young anymore.  I believe that God has brought us together in this place at this time to be an artistic community that brings light into the darkness of Spring Hill and beyond.
Every gift we’ve been given from prayer to encouragement to hospitality to artistic expression, can be used to bear witness to the light.  Our light and life, Jesus Christ.  For the glory of God.

Friday, July 19, 2013

moments like hours
spent between life and death
breath hanging on
heart still beating
hope lifting you up
moving beyond
the edge of this life
its time
warmth grown cold
so quiet
a shudder in the universe
you're gone

Monday, May 4, 2009

be still

I'm sitting here feeling the desire to write, but doubting that I have anything of value to say this morning.  I have been grateful to have a schedule in the last week or two that has given me space to rest, relax, get off the rat race treadmill.  The fruit of this time has been a reawakening of my heart, renewed clarity about my life and family, a reminder that there are important things I was beginning to explore that were abandoned in the busyness of work.

This morning has been good.  I woke and got two boys happily off to school.  Brought a minimal amount of order to the chaos of the upstairs before the washer repairman arrives.  Researched anti inflammatory and anti cancer diets (which has just left me even more confused).  Had a wonderful 39 minute conversation with a good friend I'd not spoken to in about 6 months, listening to the story of the love God has brought to her life and her quickly approaching wedding.  Ate red grapefruit and yogurt with blueberries and granola for breakfast.  And read a chapter in Brennan Mannings book "the furious longing of God" followed by Galatians 4.  Its not even 10 am and its been a peaceful beginning to the day.  I am thankful for this. I don't realize how much I need quiet and aloneness when life is noisy and busy.  

So as the rest of my day hits its usual bumps I hope to carry this peace with me. 

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Please

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please


running down the page
please after please
pen mark like knife cut
meant to sever my resolve
play upon my heart
turn my no, no, no
into yes
but it's still NO

written by
Sam
and Anne Ciccoline

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Notes from Tim Keller's talk "The Parable of the Two Sons"

Here are my notes, best as I can interpret from Tim Keller's talk at Christ Presbyterian:

The Parable of the Two Sons

Quick overview of the book, followed by emphasis on the question; "If we get this message what kind of fellowship-community does that create?"

Crucial insight: There are two ways to live, two paths according to the Sermon on the mount. Two groups of people giving to others, praying, obeying. The first group is judgmental, self-righteous, living in such a way that contradicts the gospel.  Trying to obey and be righteous so that God will be in their debt.  "If I do this, God will have to do _____"

The other group acts in response to the gospel.

Moving to the Parable, the younger brother seems to say to the Father, " I want your things, I don't want you."  The older brother seems to obey his Father, live a good life.

We tend to view them as pictures of an unbeliever and a believer.

But the truth is they both want the Fathers things, the just use different strategies.  Both boys are lost and alienated from the Father.  At the end the 'bad' boy is saved because he will come into the feast.  The 'good' boy is lost because of  'his goodness'.  He is so proud of his good works he feels the Father owes him.  He is a moralist trying to control the Father by his good works.

Jesus is always speaking to the Pharisee and the publican, or the Pharisee and prostitute, etc.

There are two ways to be your own savior:
- Act badly, do whatever you want.
- Follow the rules, attend church, but doing it all in such a way that you feel that God owes you.

You can tell you are an "older brother"  and not a believer in the gospel when  a situation arises where bad happens to you and you are enraged, bitter, maintain a grudge, feel like you are good, why should bad happen to you.

In Luke 15 there are 3 parables containing lost things; a sheep, a coin, a son.  In the first two the owners go out and search.  In the parable of the lost son, a true older brother would have gone out and searched for his little brother.

What kind of older brother do we need?  We need Jesus.  The Father says "Son you have always been with me, everything I have is yours..."  Jesus has done this, left all that is his and gone searching for us.

We ask why "younger brothers" the "lost" aren't here in the church.  It is because they see the church as "elder brothers".

If  a whole church grasps this message, the truth of the Gospel it will:

1)  Be a community of healing growth.  
Quote from "Life Together" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  The Gospel creates transparency - when that occurs we can begin to open up about our sins.  In Genesis 2 Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed.  In Genesis 3 sin led them to hide and be ashamed.  They tried to cover themselves with fig leaves, which is what we do when we know we aren't what we should be.  When we see our sin and understand we cannot cover it up, it has been dealt with by Jesus, we are able to hears others confessions, because we know we aren't any better, we all are sinners.  We need to exhort one another daily.  Hebrews 3:13

We need to confess our faults, religiosity permits no one to be a sinner.  The grace of the gospel is hard for the religious to understand.  No one is more alone, than he who is alone with his sin.  A community must be humbled enough to be good listeners.  Each member affirmed enough to repent.

2)  Be a community of peace making.
Matthew 5 and Matthew 18.  It is always my move to make peace, whether I am the one who is wronged or the one who has wronged another.

3)  Be a community of family closeness.
The younger brother had left the family, cut himself off from the family.  The father "adopts" him, brings him back into the family, celebrates his place there.

You don't choose your siblings.  It is not a consumer choice.  You must not choose your brothers and sisters within your church.  They are ALL your brothers and sisters, the tie is there, you have responsibilities to them.

We live in a consumer culture based on cost benefit analysis.  Asking what is the means to the end, will this meet my individual needs.    But we are called to covenant relationship in our families and our church,  we often sacrifice individual benefit for the relationship.  We need this kind of relationship in order to thrive.  But the logic of the market place has spilled out in to our marriages, families, church, etc.    We want to get more out of it than we put in.  But we are covenant families called to do everything together, eat, live, vacation, it is a multidimensional relationship.  Community is what shapes us, living with each other, sharing our possessions in common.

4) Be a community of countercultural- reversal of worldly values.
Poor, needy and  marginalized people are embraced and loved.  In The Four Loves CS Lewis says that he saw more completely who is friend Ronald was when they were in a group and he could observe different parts of Ronald in response to his other friends.  Likewise it take a community to see all the facets of Jesus.

Sin makes us alone.   The gospel should be bringing us back into community.  We need to reach the culture around us, connecting to the questions and issues of the people in our neighborhoods, connect with their baseline cultural narratives.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My notes are incomplete but I come away with several things to meditate on:

In the Parable, who am I?

More importantly, what does it say about Jesus?

Having been adopted by the Father what will my life in community look like?
I don't say "should look like"  because I think if our hearts have been awakened to the Gospel we are moving to that life of community.

We have been blessed to be saved into a family.  We are a covenant community.  My life of faith is not just about Jesus and me.


"It is true, of course, that what is an unspeakable gift of God for the lonely individual is easily disregarded and trodden under foot by those who have the gift every day.  It is easily forgotten that the fellowship of Christian brethren is a gift of peace, a gift of the Kingdom of God that any day may be taken from us, that the time that still separates us from utter loneliness may be brief indeed.  Therefore, let him who until now has had the privilege of living a common Christian life with other Christians praise God's grace from the bottom of his heart.  Let him thank God on his knees and declare:  It is grace, nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in community with Christian brothers."

Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Drink In Beauty


"We need to drink in beauty wherever we can get it - in music, in nature, in art, in a great meal shared.  These are all gifts to us from God's generous heart.  Friends, those things are not decorations to a life; they are what brings us life." From Waking the Dead

Wine that gladdens the heart of man, 
Oil to make his face shine,
And bread that sustains his heart.  Psalm 104:15

I need beauty.  We all do.  The unconscious desire for it moves me to take care in the decoration and arrangement of my home, create wholesome and delicious meals for my family, give thought to the clothes on my body.  Thankfully I am just as concerned about the less tangible beauty around me.  I desire that my heart and my children's hearts are full of love and compassion, peace and joy.  I hope that we all act with grace, and tenderness, and mercy.  I practice and model an awareness of the created beauty around us.  Most rides in the car involve a dialogue on the color of the sky, or the value of the sunlight, or the brilliance of the hayfield.  The most amazing thing about beauty is that it reveals to us a little more of who our Creator is, it moves our heart to awestruck praise and worship.

All creatures of our God and King,
Lift up your voice and with us sing,
Alleluia!  Alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beam,
Thou silver moon with softer gleam,

O praise Him, O praise Him,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Alleluia!

All Creatures of Our God and King  St Francis of Assisi

During Advent this year I was pondering Christmas's past.  One of my favorite memories was of our last Christmas in New York.  We had loaded up the family into the car to go out and get a Christmas tree.  It was late in the day, the sky was already dark, and too late to easily find a tree.  My memories are fuzzy about the practical details, I believe we had to go to a couple of places to find somewhere that was still open, there was frustration and probably a little anger.  But in the process of driving those dark country roads on that brisk winter night God blessed us with a brilliant show.  Aurora borealis, Northern lights.  As we slowed our pace down to witness the colorful sky, our attention was caught by a family of deer ever so slowing crossing the road and wandering off into the farm field next to us.  After the initial "Wow, did you see that!" We were all speechless.  My heart was filled with silent praise and gratitude for the gifts God had given us.  What beauty there was in the rich colors in that cold night sky.  How graceful and elegant were the dear as they moved in a carefully orchestrated group through the snowy field.  How full of wonder and peace were my children's  faces as we watched the glorious show.  Beauty reminds us of how rich a life we have.

Quite a few years later I was able to witness beauty of a very different kind.  In a land full of sunlight and heat, and to some extent dirt and human waste, I saw the beauty of joy in suffering, abundance in poverty, all in the faces of children.  As I met them, photographed them, was greeted by them, I was overwhelmed by the question in my heart "Why don't I cry?"  Why am I not overcome by the apparent hopelessness of their lives.  I still an praying for answers to that question, but I think part of it is that God gave me eyes to see their beauty.  The beauty of a human child created in His image.  The beauty of a heart filled with hope.  The beauty of a blossoming flower thriving in a coffee can planter, hung on the wall of a dirt home, in a sea of dirt "streets".  We all desire beauty, whether rich or poor, cold or hot, dark or light.

Father please give us eyes to see your beauty.  Hearts to drink it in.  Gifts to create beauty.  Thank you that beauty gives us life.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I was kissed by Hugh Jackman

I was kissed by Hugh Jackman!   I can't believe it was almost a month ago and I am just now writing about it.  I was working on a local show and my main responsibility was to set up the dressing rooms and supply what the artists needed.  This involved preparing a private tour bus for Mr. Jackman, getting his dinner from a local restaurant, and arranging everything for his arrival.  I happened to still be in the bus when he arrived, he greeted me, initiated conversation, and gave me a very sweet kiss on the cheek.  I've had the opportunity to meet many celebrities, and none has been more gracious.  The very wonderful thing was that in those hours of preparation that day, for all the artists, my desire was to bless them, and provide what they needed to do the job they were there to do.

That the attitude of my heart that day was to serve was a much bigger miracle than getting kissed by Hugh Jackman.  This fall has been a difficult season for me.  I have been struggling greatly with a number of things including the implications of Joes cancer diagnosis, and the practical impact it has had on our life, not the least of these being financial.  The week before the show had been one of those  weeks of "if it can go wrong it will".  In the midst of Joe traveling and my trying to work while caring for two kids at home, we had car trouble.  Our truck clearly needed brakes, we had put if off as long as possible and finally broke down and took it in.  Well over the course of two days a $300 brake job turned into $1200 worth of repairs that were needed.  The day I picked it up I had to head right up to Nashville to work, the beginning of several 12 hour days.  When I got to the dealership they couldn't get the truck started.  They finally gave it a boost and it turned over.  The mechanic wasn't sure the battery was bad (it could have just gotten drained if something was left on) so I didn't really want to spend another $150 bucks on a battery.  So I got in the truck and drove around to try and charge it on my way to work.  The further I drove the more frustrated and angry I felt.  I went to work, came out that evening, and thankfully the truck started.  The next couple of days were a series of small frustrations.  Joe was home long enough to replace the truck battery (after getting stuck at Publics because it wouldn't start).  He had to fly out of town again and took the truck to the airport, so I was driving my car back and forth to Nashville.  In the meantime the show I was working on was awesome, but it was long days of physically exhausting work.  Work that on other shows I would have hired someone else to do.  In the midst of fatigue, and frustration my heart became more resentful and angry.  And although I worked hard, wanting to do a good job, it ended up being for all the wrong reasons.  By Tuesday, the day before the show I was in the pits.  It was Sams 16th birthday and I would not be home at all that day.  I had not made him a cake and would not be there for dinner, it sucked.  On my way home that night I wanted to stop and at least get him a cupcake or something to say Happy Birthday.  I stopped in Cool Springs to go to the store.  I walked up to the door of the store and realized it was closed.  When I got back in my car it wouldn't start.  I sat there, cried, and called AAA.  Joe was in Vegas doing a show so I couldn't even call him for support.  The AAA guys came in about 45 minutes, started the car, and were very nice.  I think they knew they were dealing with a women on the edge : )  I couldn't go to another store to get Sam cake, because I couldn't turn the car off, so I drove through Dunkin Donuts and took him donuts for his birthday.  So finally at 10:30 that night I got home and he got his birthday donuts.  

I had to be back at work at 8 am the next day.  Amazingly when I went out to get in the car it started up, with a little hesitation, but it started.  During the 30 minute drive to work I cried out to God, first in anger, finally in surrender.  By the time I arrived at work the prayer I uttered ended with "Please just incline my heart to want to serve the people I am working with today."

So despite needing to rearrange very heavy furniture in  a number of dressing rooms because of last minute changes, and continuing to run all day long, getting stuff people needed.  It was a good day.  I was happy to be there.  I was even content in what no longer seemed like such menial tasks.  I had the opportunity to literally make dozens of people more comfortable that day.  And it felt good.  It felt good because I remembered I am loved by God, and that fact  determines who I am, not the work I do.  God mercifully reminded me of that and in so doing changed my heart.  

So the really significant kiss that day, was the kiss of God reminding me I am His beloved.

Sweetly followed by a kiss of greeting from a very gracious man.